Kusut dan Jiwang, Inc.

Dedicated to all my friends, especially the ones who are going away to further their studies. May Allah bless you, and may you find what you are looking for.

Hitam Putih Kehidupan

Lihatlah sekitar alam
Dunia luas terbentang
Langit tinggi kebiruan
Pohon-pohon kehijauan
Hembusan bayu yang menyegarkan

Dengarkan di sana-sini
Beburung riang menyanyi
Berbunga aneka warna
Sumber kedamaian jiwa
Mensyukuri nikmat Maha Esa

Begitu berharga kehidupan ini
Bagi mereka yang tahu menghargai
Mengapa terdorong oleh perasaan
Kalau turutkan hati diri menjadi korban

Tiada yang dapat lari dari masalah diri
Hadapi lah dengan tenang
Tiap cabaran yang datang
Atasinya dengan keimanan

Sekadar buat renungan
Untukmu teman tersayang
Hitam putih masa depan
Sendiri yang menentukan
Hidup ini usah persiakan

(Sheila Majid; Adnan Abu Hassan/Habsah Hassan)

Was browsing some government websites this morning, looking for any national statistical data on deafness, when I came across the Dept. of Statistics Malaysia’s website. And here’s what I found:

• population, in million (2005, second quarter): 26.13
• life expectancy at birth (2004) (in years):  males - 70.4; females - 76.2
• crude birth rate (2004) (per thousand): 21.3
• infant mortality rate (2004) (per thousand): 5.9
• gross national income per capita (2004): RM 16616
• major exports (2004) (RM million): palm oil/palm oil-based products - 29116; crude petroleum - 21762
• employment - employed (2004 4th quarter): 10 136 900
• employment - unemployed (2004 4th quarter): 349 700

Looking at the gross national income per capita, I wonder how does the distribution graph looks like, when there are citizens of this country have snails (not escargots, mind you) as their main dish during meals.

For more details, see Department on Statistics Malaysia.

I have been in love with Batman since…ermm…about 15 years ago. Then, the film ‘Batman’ with Michael Keaton as Bruce Wayne had just been released. Batman was in the rage; there were lots and lots of Batman memorabilia - t-shirts, pins, keychains etc. I remember having a Batman keychain and a Batman pin on my schoolbag hahaha.

Then came Batman Returns, and my youngest brother, who was (and still is) sort-of a collector of comic figurines and car models started collecting Batman-related models. He’s the proud owner of two Batmobiles and a Bat-horse (i.e. Batman’s horse, and not a bat-equus hybrid; a bit confusing there, huh?).

On TV, there was an animated Batman series showed every weekend. I loved the graphics - very comic-like, very angular. Hated the 1960’s real-actor series, though….

‘Batman Begins’ is the latest Batman outing. I saw the film last week, and it was very exciting. Great casting, Christian Bale; I think the only other ‘believable’ Batman is Michael Keaton. Val Kilmer - too morose and sulky; George Clooney - too handsome, it was almost comical (and comedic) to see him as Batman. Go and watch it; and share my exhilaration in seeing Batman perched on top of a building, cape flapping, scanning the Gotham City below.

Now, why do I love Batman so much? Maybe because he’s just a normal person, without any superpowers; unlike Superman with his X-ray vision, or Plasticman and his ability to stretch almost indefinitely . And yet, he is still able to help people in need. And isn’t that an inspiration for all of us?

No, my father is not a glass-blower or anything like that. It’s a song by Damien Rice, and a soundtrack in ‘Closer’ starring Julia Roberts, Natalie Portman, Jude Law (yummy!) and Clive Owen.

Anyway, back to the song; it is haunting. Deep lyrics (to me, atleast) and beautiful melody. Love the raw voice of Rice’s and the accompanying acoustic guitar. Wish I could hear it sung live.

Here’s the lyric, just in case you came to hear it and wonder what he’s wailing about…

Dedicated to my someone, hope you know who you are.

The Blower’s Daughter (Damien Rice)

And so it is
Just like you said it would be
Life goes easy on me
Most of the time
And so it is
The shorter story
No love, no glory
No hero in her sky

I can’t take my eyes off of you
I can’t take my eyes off you
I can’t take my eyes off of you
I can’t take my eyes off you
I can’t take my eyes off you
I can’t take my eyes…

And so it is
Just like you said it should be
We’ll both forget the breeze
Most of the time
And so it is
The colder water
The blower’s daughter
The pupil in denial

I can’t take my eyes off of you
I can’t take my eyes off you
I can’t take my eyes off of you
I can’t take my eyes off you
I can’t take my eyes off you
I can’t take my eyes…

Did I say that I loathe you?
Did I say that I want to
Leave it all behind?

I can’t take my mind off of you
I can’t take my mind off you
I can’t take my mind off of you
I can’t take my mind off you
I can’t take my mind off you
I can’t take my mind…
My mind…my mind…
‘Til I find somebody new

I don’t know why, maybe it’s because of the stifling heat outside or the deficient air-conditioning system; or maybe it’s just me; but I feel suffocated. It is really difficult to exactly describe the feeling I’m having, the second best way to say it is I’m kusut.

So, what should I do to make it go away? There are a few things that cross my mind:

• cut my hair short and bob-style
• bake a cake (only that I don’t have an oven)
• buy graphic novels online (Enigma by Milligan Fegredo and Lovecraft by Hans Radionoff, perhaps?)
• play "Ode to Joy" full blast
• send flowers to my kodok (or should I say, ‘former-kodok’?)
• listen to Damien Rice’s The Blower’s Daughter/Son by Four’s Purest of Pain/Vonda Shepard’s You Belong To Me and have a good cry
• drive to KL, have dinner with my family, and drive back

Or maybe I just need an icy-cold shower and scrub to take all this kusutness away…

The aftermath of IEP in Kuala Terengganu has not dissipated yet. I’m still tired. Last night I slept on the floor in front of the TV at around 10.30 p.m. The trip itself was not that bad; probably it was all the traveling that was quite taxing. Can’t blame it on anyone, I myself decided to drive there…

My skin has tanned a few shades, will probably take a couple of months for it to go back to the original colour (which is nonetheless a bit dark, anyway hahaha). Spent nearly 2 hours in the sun without sunscreen. So sue me…

Realised that I did not take much photos there. Was not in the mood, probably. But I did capture one that I’m quite proud of :)…